


Upsetting The Apple Cart

by Moonflower999



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Kilgharrah Ships Merlin/Arthur (Merlin), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonflower999/pseuds/Moonflower999
Summary: This story takes place in the months after the Battle at Camlann, and takes a rather sharp right turn away from the final episodes of the series!Kilgharrah helps Merlin save Arthur after the Battle of Camlann. In a debt of gratitude Arthur and Gwen are eager to fulfill Merlin's request to help the aging dragon from the cold, harsh Camelot winters. Morgana is there too...healed from her hatred, and the four confide much to the dragon of the course of the season.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26
Collections: Merlin Holidays 2020





	Upsetting The Apple Cart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [polishmyarmor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/polishmyarmor/gifts).



> All my deep gratitude to Emrys_MK for encouraging me to sign up and for the last minute mega-beta.  
> And equally grateful gratitude to Pelydryn for holding my hand when I was panicked that I couldn't think of anything, listened to my rambling, and reassured me along the way.  
> And finally, of course, I'm so grateful to the mods for keeping this wonderful fest going! 
> 
> Dear Polishmyarmor,  
> Happy holidays! I really hope you enjoy this fic. It diverged a bit from your prompt, but the plus side is that I think I incorporated even more of what you might like. At least I hope so! Wishing you a very happy winter, and a beautiful new year to come!

ooOoo

“Killy, KILLY!”

Kilgharrah lifted his head and huffed, opening one eye to make sure no one was nearby to witness the indignities he suffered at the mercy of the young things who gamboled around him like little goats. He was chagrined at the way he found himself enjoying their company and their ministrations. 

He would never admit it, but in the several months after the Battle of Camlann, and the few months since he’d come back to Camelot, he’d grown fond of the small critters; although sometimes they did make his head ache. Their parents approached more respectfully, bringing baskets of delectables for him to eat, and sweet smelling salves for the tough, dry spots on his hide. The adults tended to leave quickly, though occasionally one would linger until the others had left to ask his advice or opinion. 

The great dragon had gained a reputation for deep wisdom and insight. The more obscure and inscrutable his answers were, the more his reputation grew. The children came for something different though. They came to listen to the stories he would tell them as they rubbed the salves and unctions into his old, weathered hide.

Kilgharrah was old, and the years of captivity had taken their toll on his health and his strength. After being released from captivity, he had gloried in his freedom, but the last couple of winters in the wild had been very difficult.

The winter preceding the Battle of Camlann had nearly done him in; he had not expected to live through another. At Merlin’s call he had overexerted himself to bring Arthur and Merlin to the shores of the Lake of Avalon so that the Sidhe could heal the mortally-wounded king. Kilgharrah’s parting with Merlin then had been a sad one, as they both knew it was likely they would never meet again.

“Well, well, what’s so amusing to you today, if I may ask?” said Gaius, as he placed a phial on a small table and sat down in his accustomed seat. “I’ve brought something for the clouding in your right eye,” he added, when he noticed the dragon looking at the glass with unease. 

Kilgharrah grumbled quietly, and then again began to chuckle. “You might imagine that when I rotted in that cavern beneath the castle for all those years I entertained fantasies of the sweetness of terrible vengeance upon Uther and his beloved Camelot.” The dragon chuckled again. “I could never have dreamed that this would be my revenge. To be feasted and cared for in the royal palace, fed by the royal kitchens, attended by the court physician.To think that one day I would sun myself on the royal turrets, and be counselor and confidante to the King, his Queen, the Princess Morgana, and the greatest wizard of all time. It’s a good thing the ghost of old Pendragon has been laid to rest, because he would surely haunt the castle in rage and despair.” 

Gaius smiled gently. “I am glad you have found contentment after so many years of suffering. Uther Pendragon was a complicated and troubled man. There was a time I counted him as a friend. His downfall is a sadness to me. Yet, in his death, justice and mercy have become attainable. I really can’t blame you for reveling in how your position has changed.”

ooOoo

The Lady Morgana had also returned to Camelot. A month after Camlann, and a fortnight after Merlin and Arthur had returned, Morgana, eschewing all titles and signs of nobility, appeared--healed mentally and physically by Aithusa, who had matured into an exceptional dragon with unique curative powers. Of course there was wariness and caution, but Merlin sensed no deception or taint of malevolence in her, and Morgana worked tirelessly to be a source of comfort and help to one and all. In this she was aided by her natural empathy and desire to right the wrongs of the world.

The castle hummed with life again. In their great gratitude to Merlin, Arthur and Gwen made many changes. The bans on magic had been immediately repealed, and reasonable laws had been put in place. 

The people were more than ready to accept these changes. Many families had long lived in terror, hiding their magical friends and relatives. The news that it was magic that saved them at Camlann had immediately spread far and wide. They were filled as well with deep gratitude for the return of their beloved King, and the healed and sane Lady Morgana. 

Of course, the love of the people of Camelot for Merlin also eased the transition. Merlin was made Court Sorcerer, and given splendid chambers. He became a powerful, kind, fair, and ultimately extremely reasonable voice for reintegrationg magic into Camelot’s society. In awareness and gratitude for what Merlin had done for Arthur and for Camelot, the king and queen insisted that his mother be shown honor as well. They bestowed a title upon Hunith, much to her chagrin. They gifted her with her own small staff, and lovely quarters near to Gaius’ own. 

While everyone expected that Hunith and Gaius would be glad of the arrangements, nobody had predicted that Morgana would gravitate to the two elders. Hunith’s gentle, caring thoughtfulness eased Morgana’s heart, and Gaius helped her direct her magic and her desire to do good into creating wonderful herbal remedies.

ooOoo

By mid-summer Camelot felt washed clean of the heaviness and fear that had filled its corners for many years. Magic manifested itself in all kinds of delightful and useful ways. As Merlin was finally free of the weight of his dangerous secret, magical people all over the kingdom were also freed, and an air of celebration and freedom rang through the kingdom.

Gwen’s heart sang at Morgana’s rebirth, and the safe return of Arthur and Merlin from Camlann. Many of those injured at that battle were either healed or well on the way to healing (often after being helped by Morgana herself). And yet, of course, as the castle and the city readied for Midsummer celebrations, thoughts of those who could not be there were also present. 

One afternoon, when everyone was out and about helping with the preparations for the Midsummer celebrations, a man strolled through the gates and into the great courtyard. Percival, who had been quieter than ever in the weeks since Camlann, was assisting Queen Guinevere who was directing the placement of the tables and barrels of mead and ale for the festival. 

Suddenly, Percival dropped one of the kegs and stood stock still as if frozen by a spell. Gwen followed the direction of his stunned gaze, shouted out loud, lifted her skirts, and ran like a common farm girl straight into the embrace of a shaggy-haired vagabond with a tattered red cloak. She pulled away and dragged the lost knight over to Percival who was now seated on a bench, still staring in shock. The bedraggled newcomer dropped to his knees and hugged his giant friend.

“G-Gwaine?” whispered Percival.

“It’s me, old friend. It’s me!”

Gwen asked a serving girl to bring some ale and refreshments, and sent others to fetch Arthur, Merlin, and Gaius. She sent the other workers away so they would have some privacy, and took a seat next to Percival. 

When the others arrived Gwaine regaled them with the story of his absence and his survival. He spoke of how he had awoken alone in the forest, in pain and with no memory of even his name. Gwaine told of his adventures traveling from tavern to tavern, hoping that someone or something would help his memory return to him. Then in the wee hours of a chilly, dark morning, he regained consciousness in an alley-- with vague memories of a rather bawdy evening that had ended roughly.

“I was sore as hell, but I woke up with a smile on my face. Must have been a good night. I drew my cloak around me, and examining the new tatters, I suddenly SAW the red color, and the memories of what it meant to me came rushing back,” Gwaine said. He gazed at them all with the awe of that moment writ clear upon his face. “I can’t believe I forgot you lot,” he said fondly. “I was nowhere near Camelot, and had no means to arrange for a horse, so it took me some time to work my way home. But here I am now! Miss me?” Gwaine grinned, surveying his friends’ happy faces. 

Only Percival still looked somewhat stunned and unsure. Under the ruse of needing help, Gaius asked Percival to come to his chambers so that he could have a little time to adjust to the news. 

Merlin offered Gwaine a place to stay until they set up new rooms for him in the knight’s quarters. As Court Sorcerer he had room to spare, and Merlin wanted some time alone with Gwaine to catch him up on all of the changes that had taken place in his absence. 

Gwaine looked quite askance at the news about Morgana, telling Merlin he wasn’t quite so sure about forgiving and forgetting. 

“How about you, Merlin? I’d have thought you’d be floating on the clouds with your secret out, magic legalized, and your mum right here. But something’s not quite right.”

“I was never very good at fooling you,” sighed Merlin. He stopped pacing, and sat down across from Gwaine.

“Nope. So, spill it.” Gwaine stretched out his legs and got comfy, as if expecting a long story. 

Merlin spoke quietly, “I’ve told you how Kilgharrah saved Arthur, but I didn’t tell anyone that I fear I may never see him again.” He glanced at Gwaine to make sure he wasn’t rolling his eyes or about to laugh, but all he saw on Gwaine’s face was a look of concern. “I know you might think I’m ridiculous, but the bond between Dragon and Dragonlord is something I cannot explain.”

“Go on, mate. Why wouldn’t you see him again?” Gwaine’s full attention was on his friend. 

“He had hardly enough strength to bear us to the lake of Avalon. Winter was hard on him, and he believes he won’t survive another winter alone in the wilds. I think he’s right.”

“You want him to come here!” Gwaine exclaimed in surprise.

Merlin nodded meekly. 

“Is Arthur so pigheaded that he won’t allow it?” asked Gwaine, an edge creeping into his tone.

“No, not at all. I just...well...I haven’t asked. I figured it was enough for Arthur to learn to accept my magic, and that dumping a dragon on him at the same time might be a bit much.” Merlin ran his hand through his hair.

Gwaine laughed. “Well, okay, that’s actually sensible.” he said, leaning forward towards Merlin. “But really, don’t you think he has had time enough? These quarters, your new title and duties, the changes in the laws. He must have made peace with it all by now. Talk to him Merlin. And if he gives you a hard time...” Gwaine trailed off threateningly.

Merlin nodded, pensively. “I do think he has. It feels like we are friends again, though something has changed. I mean, he accepts me. And he and Gwen insisted I invite my mother here, and they both treat her like part of the royal family. But, I dunno, sometimes things just feel different. Odd. I can’t put my finger on it.”

Gwaine searched Merlin’s face, clapped his hand on the table, smirked, and said, “Oh, I think things will all settle out in time, Merlin. But you need to speak to Arthur and Gwen about the dragon, or that worried little hunch in your shoulders and the frown lines on your pretty face will become permanent.”

ooOoo

Merlin found that after talking it out with Gwaine it wasn’t all that difficult to talk to Arthur and Gwen about his concerns for Kilgharrah. His heart was greatly eased after lunch the next day when he spoke to the king & queen and they responded enthusiastically. He hadn’t really realized how grateful they were to the dragon, and how much they wanted to show both their appreciation to him for helping to save Arthur’s life. Arthur also expressed real remorse for the years Kilgharrah had suffered under Uther’s reign.

Before Merlin knew it a committee of sorts had formed. Gwen and Morgana sat with their heads together for hours planning the details of the weyr they would prepare for Camelot’s most welcome guest. Arthur, Gwaine, and Hunith worked on helping the populace see the presence of the Great Dragon as a source of good luck and wisdom. Arthur would casually praise Killy to his knights during training. Gwaine talked up the dragon’s sacrifice of his own health at the pub, and Hunith spread tales of the wonder and wisdom of dragons.

Meanwhile, Gaius and Merlin spent long hours researching and preparing healing tinctures, potions, and salves, and making arrangements for appropriate foods, as well. 

Morgana and Gwen were quite firm on the placement of the new weyr. Gwen was absolutely certain that after years in the bowels of Camelot, Killy, as they’d started to refer to him, would NOT want to live underground. Morgana immediately nixed the suggestion of a habitation built from former stables. She insisted that such a venerable creature, a hero who would bring luck and wisdom to Camelot, deserved a winter home commensurate with his status. So a stretch of the inner courtyard was designated for Kilgharrah’s new home. The structure was decorated so as to leave no doubt as to the importance of its resident. It was arranged with an inner, quieter section, and an outer area where Killy could watch the goings on of the community. The entrance could be opened up expansively, or closed for privacy.

But the most important part of Killy’s new winter home was the massive fireplace. Dragons thrived in the heat, and a dragon as ancient as Kilgharrah needed a large, steady supply of warmth to thrive through Camelot’s winters. Two pages would attend Kilgharrah: running errands, protecting his quiet time, and most importantly, keeping the fireplace well-stocked. 

One day Arthur and Merlin were surveying the progress. “Do you think he’ll like it, Arthur?...Arthur?” Arthur was staring up at the castle turrets.

“Hmm? What’s that, Merlin?” said Arthur, still staring up, “Don’t dragons like to survey things from the heights? Like birds do?”

“I don’t really know. I mean, they can fly, so I guess they can fly up and look around whenever they want to,” Merlin answered.

Arthur frowned. “I know we need to protect Killy from the cold, but I don’t want him to feel trapped after all those years underground. And I don’t want him to wear himself out flying to the mountains when he needs some peace and quiet...or just to get a better view.”

Merlin listened on, bemused.

“I think we should give him one of the turrets. Pick the one you think he’d prefer, and get a work crew up there to make whatever modifications would be helpful for him to land there and be relatively comfortable. Let Morgana and Gwen know what you are doing in case they have any thoughts on it.”

“I’ll get right on that, sire, it’s not like I have anything else to do,” said Merlin, in his typically cheeky way. And if Arthur didn’t know how Merlin’s heart clenched at his thoughtfulness and generosity, well, that was all for the better, he supposed.

ooOoo

It took two months to build Kilgharrah’s accommodations. When all was ready, Merlin called to the great dragon. Calling to a dragon over long distances did not lend itself to subtle communication, but Merlin hoped he had conveyed that Kilgharrah should certainly come, but that he should take his time to protect his energy and his health. 

Three days later the guards on the castle turrets announced the dragon’s approach. The King, Queen, Merlin and Morgana met the dragon on the turret they had prepared for him. This was Arthur’s first chance to thank Killy for saving his life, and he did so with tremendous gratitude and eloquence. Gwen also began a formal speech, but suddenly choked up, and rushed forward to grab Killy’s leg and hug him. Morgana stood back, head down and shy, but finally she raised her head and told him of her gratitude to dragonkind for saving her heart, her mind, her soul. 

Kilgharrah bowed his head low, then raised it and looked at each one in turn. “It was my honor to play my part in destiny.” Finally, his gaze turned to Merlin. “Young dragonlord, I did not think we would meet again. Why have you summoned me?”

“Err, umm, we have a surprise for you?”

“Merlin, you idiot,” said Arthur, taking Gwen’s hand and stepping in front of Merlin. “Queen Guinevere, and I, the Lady Morgana, and my ridiculous Court Sorcerer here, ask you to do us the honor of setting up your residence here, with us, in Camelot. You are welcome for all, or part, of the year, though we particularly thought these quarters might be of use in the winters. We, along with Gaius, and several others have worked to ensure your comfort and ease here. We hope that you will allow Merlin to show you the arrangements to see if they are to your liking. We owe you tremendous debts of gratitude we can never fully repay, but we would be honored if you would accept our hospitality. Of course, if these arrangements are not satisfactory, I hope you will inform us of any improvements you would like us to arrange.”

Kilgharrah rose up to full height and then bowed his head low again. “I thank you for your gracious offer, young king. Merlin, you may show me around.”

Morgana, Gwen, and Arthur showed Kilgharrah the modifications to the turret, while Merlin ran down several flights of stairs and Gwaine and the guards cleared the courtyard. Killy glided down to meet Merlin once he had reached the plaza. Merlin could tell the crusty old dragon was moved by the fine words and the fine accommodations. He was both very relieved and happy when Kilgharrah deigned to come live in Camelot at least part of the time. 

“I’m very tired, Merlin. I’d like to rest here for a while. And then, if the weather is still hot enough, and if I’m strong enough, I may fly to a nearby mountain top to lie in the sun, though the turret also looks like a suitable place to bask. It was very kind of you to think of all this.”

“Actually, once I spoke of the idea, they all jumped in to help. The turret was Arthur’s idea. He thought you might like someplace quieter, with a good view from on high, and also that it was your due after spending so much time below the castle.”

Kilgharrah snorted a chuckle. “I find myself glad I had a part in saving the kinglet.”

“Gwen has sent for food to be brought. And then why don’t you rest? Gaius and I have also been working on remedies for anything that might ail you. He’ll come check on you, too. I’m sure he’ll want to fix you up with some tonics and tinctures, potions and poultices. You’ll be feeling at least a hundred years younger in no time!” 

Kilgarrah stretched out on the soft carpets within the shelter, and peered out from half-closed eyes. “Thank you young sorcerer.” 

ooOoo

The dragon slept for the better part of two weeks. Merlin worried, despite Gaius’ reassurances that Killy needed the rest, that magical dragons were different than humans, and that his color was looking much better. 

While Kilgharrah slept on through the days and nights, Gwaine spent his nights in the tavern talking up how Kilgharrah had nearly lost his life saving King Arthur. The wily innkeeper named the new Autumn ale “Dragon’s Gold” and commissioned a local bard to write a new drinking song in honor of Camelot’s new hero. As the days passed, the townspeople grew accustomed to the dragon’s new home in the castle’s courtyard, and frequently gathered around Killy’s tent hoping to be the first to catch sight of him when he awoke. It didn’t hurt that Arthur, Merlin, Morgana and other important personages were frequently seen visiting the lodging to check on their new resident.

Eventually Killy woke up, and after a few days of nothing but eating his fill and being subjected to Gaius’ treatments, things began to settle into a routine for the dragon and the rest of the castle. Gaius fell into the habit of dropping by every day at tea time. He’d bring a cake, a large tart, or a full loaf fresh from the kitchens. After he cut himself a small serving, he would give the rest to Kilgharrah The dragon had not had such treats since his youth, many hundreds of years earlier, when he was a favored guest of another, long-gone kingdom. The two fell to talking, and they bonded over both their affection for Merlin, and their common perspective of viewing things from closer to the end of their lives than the beginning.

ooOoo

Gaius wasn’t the only one to keep company with the great dragon. Morgana began to stop by frequently. At first, she stayed only briefly, just long enough to drop off small comforts for Kilgharrah, but she couldn’t resist asking the dragon for bits of history she had wondered about. 

When the dragon realized what a gifted storyteller she was, he began to ask her to recount the interesting and humorous goings on in Camelot. And over the long, cold winter, she found herself more and more comfortable in Kilgharrah’s warm lodging, asking his advice and perspective on matters that troubled her heart. 

Once Morgana had been driven mad with jealousy at the thought of her best friend sitting on the throne. She was now free of the ambition and the terrible envy of those years. As she had eschewed her lust for power and the terrible resentments of those years, she was flooded with memories of the days when she and Gwen were closer than sisters. Morgana did not speak directly of it, for she was much too deeply regretful and ashamed to again want something that was not hers to want.

“Kilgharrah, may I ask your thoughts?”

“You may, young mage.”

“M-mage? That can’t be,” said Morgana, confused and flustered.

“What will be, will be. What is your question?”

“If someone loved another person, but she, I mean the other person was wed to another...and the someone also cared about the other person, but he seemed to have feelings for yet another...would it be wrong to speak the truth, upset the apple cart, so that maybe everything could be sorted out properly?”

“Hrmm,” the dragon grumbled thoughtfully. “Some say there is no truth, only perception, but others say truth will out. If this is true then perhaps it is best to have some control over the revelation.” 

oo8oo

Queen Guinevere was another frequent visitor. She considered it her duty as queen to ensure the comfort of Camelot’s honored guest, but she also was eternally grateful for his part in bringing them all happiness. She would never forget the deep pain and loss she felt during those weeks when no one knew if Arthur and Merlin had survived or would ever return. Gwen’s thoughtful, practical and kind ways (and of course her gratitude and the way she spoiled him) endeared her to Kilgharrah, and she found herself wanting to tell him everything that was in her confused head and heart. 

“You promise you will never breathe a word of this?” asked Gwen.

Kilgharrah reared up a bit. “Do you doubt me, queenling? My word is my bond. I have kept secrets since before the first stone was laid for this castle.”

Gwen rambled on until Kilgharrah’s head ached. Finally she got to the point. “I love Arthur dearly. I really do. But it’s just not the same. After Lancelot I never thought I’d feel this kind of all consuming connection with another again. I have always cared deeply for Morgana, but since she has been healed and has let go of her anger, jealousy, and ambition, she’s absolutely magical. I’d give up everything to be with her, but I won’t hurt Arthur that way.”

The great dragon bowed his head towards the queen, and attempted a sympathetic sound,“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” 

“Errr, yes, umm, thank you. I’ll think about that. Please don’t forget your promise,” said Gwen as she left.

ooOoo

Of course Merlin made time to check in on Kilgharrah every day. He’d huff through the snow-covered courtyard, take a good look at Killy to see how he was doing, and drag some of the big cushions in front of the huge fireplace. Then he’d plop down and complain about this and that for a while. Killy would chuckle until Merlin joined in, because they both well knew that Merlin was happier than he had ever been.”

Kilgharrah held Merlin’s glance and said in as soft a tone as a dragon could manage, “And yet, there is something that weighs upon you, young sorcerer.”

Merlin looked torn for a few moments, then said, “Kil, tell me more about me and Arthur being, as you said long ago, ‘two sides of the same coin’?”

“One half cannot exist without the other.”

“Kilgharrah, you must never breathe a word of this, but I think I will die if I can’t say this to anyone. I love Arthur. I love that arrogant clotpole with all my heart. And I know he can’t possibly love me the same way, and even if he did, I would never hurt Gwen. I try to be happy. I AM content that he’s alive and well and happy, but my heart hurts all the time.” 

“In true love the smallest distance is too great and the greatest distance can be bridged, young warlock.”  
“Yeah, well thanks for that,” Merlin sighed and gazed moodily into the fire.

ooOoo

Kilgharrah was not accustomed to involving himself much in human affairs, but he itched to resolve the last piece of this puzzle. Arthur was a hard nut to crack because his duties gave him less time to visit. Furthermore, he tended to be more formal and private due to his royal upbringing. 

When the dragon had first woken, Arthur had come to welcome him to Camelot again. Periodically he’d check in to make sure things were to the dragon’s satisfaction, but his visits were always brief, and Arthur seemed at a bit of a loss as to what to do with himself once he’d asked after the dragon’s comfort. 

Finally, a day came when Arthur lingered awkwardly rather than disappearing quickly. Kilgharrah eyed the king as Arthur examined his own boot scuffing against the carpet.

“Out with it, Kingling. It seems that you have something to say?” said the dragon, not unkindly. “Everyone else has had their turn, why shouldn’t you?” he muttered under his breath, if a dragon could mutter under his breath. “On dragon’s honor, I will keep any confidence you choose to share.”

Arthur looked up and shrugged. “Well, it’s just a bit ridiculous, I suppose. And this really must be in the strictest confidence.”

“Naturally.”

“It’s just that…,” Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, “I kissed Merlin….I didn’t mean to! We were working late in his chambers one night, leaning close together over a map. The fire was blazing in the hearth. Everything was so quiet outside, blanketed in snow. He bent near to examine the boundaries between two villages and we bumped heads. We started laughing so hard that we both sank to the floor. I hadn’t seen him laugh like that in such a long time. I don’t even know what I was thinking. Suddenly he was in my arms and I was drunk with happiness. I kissed him, and I could swear he kissed me back.,,,

“But then he jumped up. went back to the map, and made it clear he wanted to pretend the kiss never happened. I mean I know...we can’t do this to Gwen. He wouldn’t. I wouldn’t. She is the most wonderful wife a man could ask for. She’s the perfect queen for Camelot, and I wouldn’t hurt her for the world.,,

“But the truth is I love that bumbling idiot with everything in me. It’s hard to breathe when he’s not near me. Now that I have some hope that he might return my feelings for him, thoughts of him fill my every waking moment.,,,

“I’m afraid that even if I don’t tell Gwen, she’ll figure it out herself. I’m so ashamed. I wooed her, promised to love her, rejected her, promised to love her again...and I do love her, but just not the way I love Merlin. I can sacrifice--I would sacrifice my own happiness for her. I will. But I think she can tell my heart is not fully hers anymore. I don’t know how to protect her from the truth. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Hmmm,” replied the dragon, “These are truly weighty problems, young king. It has been said that true knowledge lies in knowing how to live.”

Arthur waited for Kilgharrah to finish, but the dragon seemed to have nothing more to say. “Umm, well, yes. I guess I’ll just be going then. Thank you for your discretion.”

ooOoo

Kilgharrah paced. He just wanted to knock their heads together and tell them outright what they should do. The dragon, was known for his rather obscure wisdom. In fact, he was bound by the ancient and secret tradition that dragons must never advise in plain terms. 

Curse these humans who were so thick about getting the message! Killy wracked his brains for ways to move these four into speaking up and finding their happiness. He stretched out in front of the hearth and searched his brain for a way to untie this ridiculous knot. How to spill the apples from the cart so that they would need to be resorted, and how to make sure they were resorted properly? Someone would need to be honest first. Of course, only one of the four seemed the obvious choice for that kind of direct honesty. 

Morgana. 

Now, to plan his words before she arrived for her daily visit.

“And how are you today, dear Kilgharrah? Is there anything you require?” Morgana always asked about the dragon’s needs before settling in for a visit. 

“Ah, young mage, welcome. Please sit down. I have given great thought to your dilemma.”

“My dilemma?” Morgana asked.

“The matter of great discretion you discussed with me.”

“Oh! I...oh.” Morgana surveyed the patterns in the carpeting studiously.

“Truth is cruel to one who turns his...or...her eyes away from possibility.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s true, though I’m not sure what you’re trying to tell me. I didn’t think I was ignorant of the possibilities. I’m just afraid to cause pain that cannot be repaired,” said Morgana. 

Though there was hardly room, the dragon paced back and forth, finally stopping to peer at Morgana quite sharply. “When all is lost, everything will be found!” 

“Are you telling me to leave Camelot so that I can find my true purpose? I’ve been wondering if that is what I must do?” Morgana gave a sigh of resignation.

Kilgharrah resumed pacing, swinging his head back and forth. “Morgana! Disrupting the crops will be to everyone’s benefit! Do you understand?” he said, with a growl of frustration at Morgana’s blank stare.

“I’m sorry, Kilgharrah, I just don’t follow. What crops? How can anyone benefit from crops being destroyed?”

“The APPLES, Morgana. The APPLES! Do you not remember that we spoke of apples?”

Finally understanding dawned on Morgana’s face. Kilgharrah stopped pacing and fairly plopped himself down on the carpeting, utterly exhausted.

“You’re telling me that I should speak my truth so that we may all be sorted out properly,” said Morgana, both hope and trepidation apparent in her voice.

Kilgharrah nodded his head solemnly.

“I have to admit I’m more than a little bit terrified.”

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

Morgana laughed. “I think I am beginning to understand you, my friend...You’re sure?”

“Completely,” said the dragon, lowering his head and closing his eyes. Morgana crept out as he fell asleep from exhaustion.

ooOoo

And so Morgana, who had never lacked for courage, found Arthur and Gwen, and asked to speak to Arthur alone. Gwen seemed slightly surprised, but covered it gracefully as Arthur rose to attend Morgana in her sitting room.

“Is something wrong, Morgana, you seem troubled?” said Arthur, looking concerned.

“I hope not, Arthur. It is my fondest wish that as difficult as is this conversation, much joy may come of it.”

Arthur leaned forward in his chair, completely attentive to his half-sister, and she continued, “My brother, I hope you know that I have truly changed and I would sooner leave Camelot behind forever than hurt you in any way.”

Arthur nodded, love and concern etched on his face.

Morgana took a deep breath and leapt. “What I have to say, I will say to only you, and only this once, unless I have your permission to speak of it to your queen.”

Arthur looked perplexed.

“Arthur, I’m hoping that if we tumble all the apples out of the apple cart we can finally get them sorted properly,” said Morgana, hoping to ease into the conversation.

“I’m sorry. I don’t follow. Apples?”

“Arthur, we’re the apples. And I think we’re in a total mess.”

“Morgana, spit it out, please. I swear I won’t yell or banish you or send you to the dungeons. Just tell me.”

“I’ve not said a word to her. I wouldn’t. But I’m so very in love with Gwen. She’s not given me any sign, but I have hope…and...well...I see how you look when Merlin is around. The light in your eyes, and well, you know...or maybe you don’t...he’s been in love with you for years. We’re the apples Arthur. And Killy thought maybe if I speak what’s in my heart that we can all get sorted out right. But if you prefer that I keep my silence, or that I leave Camelot, I will honor your wishes.” Morgana closed her eyes, torn between hope and fear of Arthur’s reaction. “I swear, I will never hurt you again.”

Arthur had bent forward, face in hands. He looked up now with tears in his eyes and stood to embrace his sister, “How is it that I am known for my courage when you are braver by far?” They held each other fiercely for a few moments.

“I’ve been so blind. Consumed by my own guilt. Go, speak to your love. See if she will have you. Tell her you have my blessings, and ask her to bring me her decision in my chambers. I will wait to speak with Merlin until after I’ve spoken with Gwen. Take heart, Sister, I believe you will have your joy.”

But Morgana still clung to him, and Arthur noticed that she was trembling in his arms. He took a step back to survey her face. He had not seen her so frightened since all those years ago when she’d been victimized by terrible nightmares. “On second thought, you’ve been brave enough today. Come, let’s speak to her together.”

ooOoo

An hour later, after many reassurances and tearful smiles, Arthur had his own fears to face. Having given Gwen her freedom, he could only hope with all his heart that he’d read Merlin correctly. Gwen and Morgana exchanged looks as Arthur prepared to head to Merlin’s chambers. “We’re coming with you,” said Gwen, “Merlin won’t take your word for it that I will find my deepest joy in this arrangement, so let me tell him. Besides, I think when he sees Morgana and me together, he’ll understand.”

ooOoo

And so Merlin opened his door to find his three dear friends sporting a range of emotions on their faces: happiness, excitement, and nerves. He welcomed them in, wondering what news they could possibly have to share. Perhaps the queen was with child? 

“What brings you all here together? Is there some news?” he asked.

“Merlin,” said Gwen, “I’ve just had some very happy news, and I hope that it will lead to happiness for you as well.”

“Of course, I care more for your happiness than my own, Gwen. You know that. You’re like the sister I always wanted. Tell me your news,” he said, sure he already knew what it was.

Gwen held up her hand, which was closely entwined with Morgana’s, and kissed Morgana on the lips.

Arthur giggled nervously as Merlin shot out of his chair and backed away a few steps, staring.

“Merlin, come sit back down. Arthur has something to tell you,” Gwen ordered in her queenliest tones.

Merlin returned and took his seat warily. 

Arthur caught Merlin’s eye and said, “Merlin, Gwen insisted on coming because she thought you would refuse to hear me if you didn’t know with all your heart that I have her blessing.” Merlin glanced between Gwen and Arthur, then fixed his sight back on Arthur. 

Arthur continued with determination, “Since I’ve known about your magic, and the veil of secrecy between you and me has lifted, and I’ve seen who you truly are more clearly, I have found myself more and more overwhelmed by feelings for you. I did not dare think that it was something I could speak of, because I would never have risked hurting Guinevere.

“I will always love Gwen, she is family to me, and I hope she will agree to remain Camelot’s queen; we could have no better. But it’s you I dream of, you I want to go to sleep with, you I want to wake up with.”

Gwen clapped her hands and piped in cheerily, “And I want that for you both, just as that is what I want to share with Morgana.”

Merlin’s eyes shone with unshed tears as he looked from one to the other. Morgana and Gwen smiled encouragingly, and Arthur stood, holding out his hand in invitation. Merlin stepped into his arms and he and Arthur held each other close. Suddenly Merlin burst out laughing. “That blasted dragon!”

At that everyone started talking at once and the whole story came out.  
The four shared a late supper, over which they discussed arrangements, both for that night, and for the future. And especially for the very near future when they planned to descend upon Kilgharrah with their good news and gratitude.

ooOoo

And thus the Golden Age of Camelot truly began. There were no more secrets. There were no more lies. Friendship, love, and mutual support had replaced envy and enmity. 

These were the golden days where courage and truth were rewarded, old debts were paid, and above all, great love reigned.

**Author's Note:**

> According to this interview with Eoin Macken, Gwaine is not dead. https://www.scifinow.co.uk/news/merlins-eoin-macken-gwaine-isnt-dead/?cmpredirect
> 
> Quotes:
> 
> “Some say there is no truth, only perception”  
> -Gustave Flaubert
> 
> “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”  
> -Lao Tse
> 
> “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”  
> \- Joseph Campbell
> 
> Bonus Quote:  
> “Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.  
> -Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy
> 
> Thank you so very much for reading. Comments make me very happy. I love getting to 'meet' my readers!


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